Evils of Zumba


Zumba and Raves…what’s the difference?  The women all have long unkempt hair whipping around and sticking to their sweaty, ecstasy filled bodies covered in neon spandex.  I never trusted zumba, you  stick a bunch of women in a room with latin beats and they get all sex crazed…it’s science.  It’s the Latina secret!  You start with zumba and soon you are drawing on chola eyebrows and wearing hula hoops as earrings

zumba: just don’t do it!

It turns out my fears were well founded, in the depraved sincity of  Kennebunk, Maine a Zumba instructor is in trouble with the law for turning her fitness studio in a den of prostitution.  Alexis Wright is charged with having a ridiculously high sex drive and not doing a very good job of hiding tapesand photos  she made of her 106 clients, which is probably the entire male population over 21 in Kennebunk.  The news story doesn’t mention how zumba turned a mild mannered 29 year old fitness instructor into a sex fiend and poor businesswoman, but it does go to show the dangers of giving women self confidence.

Look at my abs!  I bet I could charge chinese businessmen to eat sushi off my naked body!

Stick to the aquafit ladies.


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