Playmobil hands and 4 am


So I was thinking, what if people had playmobil/lego hands in real life?
-food would be limited, carrot sticks, sandwiches, gogurt, hotdogs
-toothpicks, pixie sticks, balloons and slim jims would forever be out of reach
-everyone would have unibrows since trying to use tweezers would reduce you to tears.
-certain sex acts would no longer be possible unless your partner was extremely well endowed.
-stick shifts would jump in popularity
-monkey bars and gymnastics would be infallible
-surgical instruments would have nerf handles
-toothbrushes would have handles the size of paper towel rolls
-great piano masters will perform “chopsticks” in concert halls
-speaking of chopsticks…the chinese would starve to death
-babies and pets would need handles
-clothing would all have velcro fastenings
-earrings would go out of style
-joints would be rolled to the size of wiener dogs
-VHS would experience a resurgence
-haircuts might be best left in the past…

this brought to you by insomnia.


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